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The Journey Within

Updated: Jul 18, 2020

I had my first intuitive coaching session this super-blood-moon-eclipse week and I wanted to share my experience. The journey will be specific to me, but I am hoping the general ideas, insights and revelations can help you too! Well, I know it can! Whether you believe in science and the power of the mind or you believe in angles and spirit guides — or all of it, like I do!.. You can use these tools for yourself!

Intuitive coaching is a time to connect in with your own inner guidance. With a guide facilitating and holding the space to lead you with her own intuition, as well as yours. They hold the space for you to tap in and connect to your own instincts and knowledge. You’ll ask questions to uncover the answers of your soul. NO BIG DEAL. It’s a time for you to understand your own answers to your souls own truth! And it usually happens through a guided visualization. Though I hope my experience strikes a chord, it is really most potent when felt and discovered through your own mind. It turned my anxiety into pure elation. It cleared mental blocks by literally addressing them with a new perspective and energy. I recommend my guide, Rachel from Process Progress, who is not only HELLA intuitive, but also a badass lady-boss & graphic designer! Love 👏🏼 you 👏🏼 boo 👏🏼!

My experience started like most meditations begin. You begin sitting and relaxing into your space, being present, closing your eyes and grounding into the Earth below. Still a common practice, my guide had me grow from my lower back down into the core center of the Earth so I could bring up Earth’s warm energy into me. Also, growing out of my head and connecting up out into the heavens, into the cosmos, and allowing all of the energy my guides and The Force, and all that is, had to give me too. Then I visualized it exploding all through my body, yellow and white fireworks filling me up, spilling through my aura, and shooting out to settle in the ether of the room I was in. So, at this point you’ll be just SO grounded. Your body will feel like dead weight; comfy, relaxed, present. From here we can begin.

For my specific journey, I had known before going into the session that everything is at my fingertips right now and all of my opportunities are arising. I knew I needed to get rid of the little voice in the back of my head and just balls-to-the-wall go for everything. But, that little voice I’m supposed to be ignoring in the back of my head, kept saying that I need to focus on one journey. How do I start? What do I do? And what is it?! We needed to intuitively explore following and exploring all of the focuses in font of me. How the different paths are connected to one another. How focusing on one may support the others and how I felt when walking down these paths.

And so we begin the visualization, which I was still in eyes-closed from our beginning meditation. I was asked to view the path’s laid out in front of me and to pay attention to where I was. The moment she asked me to visualize this, I was skyrocketed into space. I saw my magical vines growing out from the Earth’s core and shooting me out into the universe gathering stardust for me. They Giant Beanstalked me into the cosmos like a futuristic chair… still attached to my body. Thanks for the space support. As I’m floating there securely, roots on earth, magical vines spewing out of my head into the heavens, I see these cosmic stardust pathways laid out in front of me. All going different directions. I felt a tightness in my chest, but mostly calm. Before we headed down the yellow brick road, we called in my higher self to be my escort on this journey. We asked my higher self if there was anything she needed to tell me before we began. “Be the Light”. Well, OK. Thanks, higher-self. Nailed it. Sounds great, let’s begin! I’m ready!!

I was asked to pick a pathway. So, I picked the one right in front of me. It was in the middle and the most straight, direct pathway into the great beyond. Once I started walking down it I was immediately in a magical black hole, but it felt more like a cosmic aquarium. Like those tunnels where the sharks would normally be swimming above your head, except all of the universe. Slowly, this starlit pathway turned into a dirt hiking trail. It felt like I truly worm holed into a National Park. I walked right into this gorgeously colorful & abundant Yellowstone-like clearing, which is my normal happy place. I was then asked to visualize a movie screen showing me what this path was about. And the scene that kept repeating, in the open field on movie, screen was me swinging a young boy around in circles by his underarms. There was this huge smile on this kids face, we were laughing, we were spinning, we were playing! So, after some deliberation with this loop, I came to realize that was my guides, or my inner knowledge, was telling me that this path is about joy and fulfillment AND that I am most joyful and fulfilled when I am connected to my child-like source. When I move through life with that child-like source.

We continued on the path until I was told to visualize a fork in the road. The second those words left her lips I immediately intuited two very specific roads. To the left was a dense, dark forest and to the right was this sunny, snowcapped mountain that looked full of life. Before knowing the paths I had created, she intuited I needed to go to the left. Duh. lol. She intuited that’s where my child-like joy wanted to go. Now, walk down this path connected to this specific child-like energy. What does it feel like? What we figured out was that though this road may look more challenging and daunting, when I connect to that fulfilling child-like joy within myself, I am able to move through the forest with playfulness and ease.

"And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul." John Muir

The dense, forested pathway lit up around me as I chose to twirl and dance through it, connecting to that child-like joy. Regardless if the rest of the forest was still dark and scary beyond me. My guide then brought me to a clearing at the end of the forest. What do I see? I saw a Land Before Time-like landscape of green lush terrain. Trees and an open field with glittering water falls in the distance. And a little further to the right was this Atlantis-like city. This sparkling, iridescent magical city full of abundance. So, if you fancy yourself any kind of psychologist at all, this whole ordeal is very obvious. Going the “hard” way will lead to abundance. But the hard way doesn’t have to be hard. You don’t have to make it hard! You can choose to go at it with joy and make it easier on yourself. Growth is painful, but you do not have to choose to suffer through it. Bring a new perspective and you can light your own way.

So then my guide told me to leave OZ and go back to the fork in the road, in order to try the path to the right. The sunlit mountain! So, I'm going up the mountain. To me this path represented the obvious path. The path of least resistance. I started hiking up this mountain and, I love nature, so it was beautiful. Very enjoyable scenery, but I was still hiking up a mountain. I was becoming tired and moving slower. At the beginning of the journey I pictured reaching the top! How magical and wonderful it would be as I sit up-top looking out at all the beauty around me. But as I’m getting to the top now, tired and slow… things aren’t looking so magical. They are looking darker, we’re seeing crows nests, dead shrubbery. And then my guide tells me to stop where I am and look out from the mountain. What do I see?

What I see is the dark forest beneath me and I see the city and land of abundance in the distance. AND NOW I’m on top of a fucking mountain. Are you kidding me?! I’m MUCH further away from this dazzling city of all of my hopes and dreams. WAY further than if I went through the shit forest. What I realized then was that this mountain, for me personally, signified taking the “easy” way. This road was the fear of failure. Hey it might work? It looks way better, let's just do this instead. And though it looked beautiful and easy, it was LAZY FAKE NEWS. A big ‘ol vail of false promises and happiness. So, though I felt accomplished having climbed up this mountain, it didn’t lead to fulfillment and it was actually further away from the life of I wanted than if I had gone through the dark forest. DAMMIT, BRAIN! THAT CLEARLY ALREADY KNOWS EVERYTHING. Oh yes, that's right, that's why we are doing this. Keep on coming up from mama's subconscious, baby. The water's nice here.

We then ask my higher self, the bad bitch herself, to translate this all into the physical world. What would my habits need to be in order to traverse this dark forest and onto the life of my dreams? How does it manifest on Earth? I’m used to taking the “easy” way which requires less work and less commitment. Where I can ride it out on a cloud of hope and fantasy, that in ACTUALITY requires possibly even more worry and less reward. It definitely strands you on top of a mountain away from everything sparkly!! Whether you’re lazy and unfulfilled or focusing 200% on one thing, without balance it will isolate you in an escapist denial. Never actually achieving much of anything. So to take this forest on and party in the city of love-everlasting, I would need new habits.

| "To live a life you've never lived, you must do what you've never done." Dave Ellis

I needed: determination and repetition, as well as courage and fearlessness. Also, I NEEDED to connect to that childlike-playful energy if I wanted to get through this forest happy and with joy. I don’t NEED to make it hard on myself. I don’t need to go through a dark forest scared and terrified. I CAN BE THE LIGHT. I can play in it and create my own light on this journey. As you may have noticed, I’m more of an outcome person. Enjoying the journey, especially when challenging, is a new skill that will be a forever practice. Though positive reactions and finding the joy in all situations becomes more ingrained into my habits with each new day.

What the city of abundance showed me, that the mountain did not have, was abundant endless opportunity. Yes the mountain was perhaps something I thought I wanted, or looked easy at the time, but it was the path taken out of fear. Or even the path taken out of societal norms, what we SHOULD do versus what lights our soul on fire. "DON'T SHOULD ON YOURSELF." I grew tired and slow, and the end result, after all of that focus to the top, was unfulfilling and disillusioned. Through going through this craptastic forest with courage, child like energy and the joy of my highest self, I realized that I can dance through ALL of life's hardships. I can navigate my new habits with love and know that just on the other side of them, is a clearing more beautiful and amazing than anything I had imagined before. I noticed, all of a sudden, that the tightness I had felt in my chest was replaced with this a fireball of energy, joy and excitement! I felt like I had just eaten a Mario mushroom and leveled up!

GET. IT. GIRL. Unblocked. Cleared. AND ON FIRE! My guide then asked me to ask my higher self if she has anything left to tell me. She says,


That feeling in your chest? THAT is the light. This is how you know and how you can bring it out into the world. That's when you know you are in the vortex & ready to roll! UGH SO GOOD. Thank you higher-self for wrapping up this journey SO EPICALLY. Makes for a better story too. YOU ROCK. I'm the light! You're the light! FUCK YES. And yea yea, enjoy the journey not the destination.

Just because there is something you want that you don’t have right now doesn’t mean the rest of your life is lackluster. The universe responds to your energy, your frequency, your vibration. So your job is to do whatever it takes to find your joy! This could be leaving your job to travel the world or starting a whole new career! It is not always easy to do things like this and it may not feel like the path of least resistance. At the the time, in that moment, it may not be the path of least resistance. But, when you look at it over a greater time line, or from the top of a mountain, you’ll see that it is. It’s easier to make a tough choice now than to suffer over decades. The most important thing is to feel good about your life. Just like children do! The sooner we live in our joy, the faster things will flow to our joy. If I’m going into the forest terrified and hiding, it’s going to take me MUCH longer to get out the other side (Also, I'm probably not enjoying it, huh?). Hide behind rocks when I hear a sound or whistle a song while I skip down this path? Not a tough choice. Create the life you want to live, regardless of your surroundings and circumstances. Like a sane crazy person 👌🏼😉. When we no longer have any tolerance for misery in our life, we will then start making completely different decisions.

| "Change happens when the pain of fear becomes greater fear of pain."

The way we use our energy and the things we give attention to will magically change. And then you will be one of the people in the world who is truly in charge of your life. "You cannot have a happy ending to an unhappy story," as author, Gala Darling puts it. Know what you want, bless it and let it go while dancing through the rest of your life. Put all that energy you were using to fret, into creating a better world for yourself, dancing in the dark. Dream it up, envision the life you’d like to live and then start concocting it. The key to manifesting is to let the present feel overwhelmingly goOoOOod. To be happy with yourself in the present moment, while maintaining a dream about your future is a grand recipe for manifestation! You feel so whole that you no longer care whether it will happen because you are enjoying the journey SO MUCH. Well, that is just when amazing things WILL start to materialize before your eyes. Being whole is the perfect state of creation.

| “I’ve seen this time and time again in witnessing true healings in people all over the world. They feel so complete that they no longer want, no longer feel lack, and they no longer try to do it themselves. They let go and to their amazement something greater than they are responds and they laugh at the simplicity of the process.”

Dr. Joe Dispenza

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