Peter Pan Syndrome, the good one...
Updated: Jul 18, 2020
“I just want people in my life who aren't scared of darkness or stepping into the bright. Bring me the cave spelunking explorers combined with lighthouses.” Dr. Jeremy Goldberg
The darkness is all that ikky stuff you block out & never want to talk about that will slowly but literally turn into cancer if you don’t deal with it. In THAT darkness holds they keys to everything you’ve ever dreamed of. It’s in confronting and exploding those triggers that we can unlock and stand in our light, in our full potential. One of my favorite quotes I discovered for my self is that,
I am my own key.
We hold the answer to every single one of our questions and conflicts within us. *sings* Listen to your heart! This heroine’s journey (or hero’s journey!) takes courage and curiosity in order to get to the core of our wounds and heal them. It is only then that we can become our highest, fullest self, reaching our potential and allowing ourself to live life from that. Oh, the mountains you can move! This will be found in the hard conversations, the holding space for yourself, the emotional release and the tough honest love. It’s the down and dirty, real raw honesty that comes from sharing your human experience openly. Owning my vulnerability is the strongest I can ever be, and I know you know this too-- because being naked, undressing your soul, terrifies us all, even if we don't realize it. *raises hand sheepishly*. Our strength is created on the journey to reaching our fullest potential, through our “successes”. Our "successes" naturally encompass our failures... and getting back up! Allowing ourselves to stand in that strength, in our light. Repeat after me:
"I deserve to live in my light!" You
This is the space in which we expand and play BIG, NOT SMALL! It’s living from our heart, standing on *our* platform! There, center stage, in our truth, pushing forwards instead of staying comfortable, quiet and SMALL.
It’s as Dr. Jeremy Goldberg states in regards to his quote above, though about individuals who are more or less experienced in confronting their shadows, “Cave-spelunking explorers are the adventurous and curious souls willing to dive into the unknown. They're self-sufficient and stable. When they begin the descent into the dark, they know what's up. They've been there before and can handle themselves when the light's not around. They bring a flashlight, and even a backup one, and then some spare batteries just in case things don't go as planned. The dark isn't scary, it's exciting. These folks know that when we return from the dark, we'll have shared a story together, we'll have made a memory, and we'll be different after the depths have had their way with us. And that's okay because as my friend, Padhia says, they'll "love me anyways".
Lighthouses don't move and they only do exactly what they are designed to do: Prevent shipwrecks. That's it. They minimize the chance of disaster. Day after day they're there, solid & reliable. I want people who are stable with their light while looking out for me. When my ship gets too close to the shore and I'm looking like I'm going to crash and smash to pieces, I want a pal to shine at me and say, "WHOA, buddy. WTF are you doing right now? Have you seen what's happening here? Have you noticed your trajectory?” That’s important. And a good friend.”
I want people in my life who are not afraid of the darkness, of healing their shadows so they CAN step into their light, shining bright for themselves and others.
Peter Pan, YAY WE FINALLY GOT TO PETER PAN! I was making you wait for it. Doesn't it feel so much better now?! OK SO -- Peter was LOOOKING for his shadow. Seeking that darkness out! He had to find it, heal it (via sewing skills) and reabsorb it positively back into his body before he could focus on flying home. We get some pretty foundational life truths via quotes from this movie:
“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.” J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan
“Just think happy thoughts and you’ll fly.” Peter Pan
Peter Pan tells the Darling kids, “Think of the happiest things, it’s the same as having wings.” The children exercise their practice of gratitude by thinking of things they have which they appreciate! Then they rev up their imagination by (through the accompanying song) thinking of happy things that they’d like to see, feel, be and experience! When we think of happy and positive things, we can fly!
I am without actual wings... as of yet, but as a forever faerie, I’m still holding out hope. Peter Pan in HOOK is an even better example (that whole move is!). Peter Banning has forgtton his child-like joy (SEE LAST BLOG POST. WE’RE ONTO SOMETHING HERE!). He asks Tink how he can fly and she says:
“Be the Pan [wo/man] you are. Fly. Fly. Think a happy thought.” Tinkerbell
Just recently I shattered some of my biggest fears after coming face to face with a few of my core toxic beliefs (blocks, sabatures, rackets, shadows, whatever you call them!). If I don't heal these core faulty beliefs I hold, none of the other healing I do will have the opportunity to stick. I'll fall back into my habits, patterns and comfort zone. This weekend I experienced the exploding some of those toxic-a$$ beliefs I felt emotionally & physically weighing me down. I realized HOW SELFISH my FEARS were and so I told them to F*** OFF! My fears were stopping me from reaching my potential and sharing my gifts. Gifts that could help others and fulfill me. I was afraid of helping others?! No, I was afraid of how it would "look" if I publicly used my voice and my story to help others. I thought THAT would be seen as selfish, so I didn't do it. Until I realized NOT doing it was the selfish thing. WHO do I think I am?! Now I can actually change the world like I’ve been plotting to. And YOU’RE NEXT!
"Think of all the joy you'll find, when you leave the world behind and bid your fears goodbye." -- "You Can Fly!" J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan
This adventure in which I began to leave my fears behind has been profound. On this journey to find and heal my shadow fears, I encountered paths that lead me into my abyss. Its a familiarly dark place at times, but ultimately this is the birthplace of profound and unconditional self-love. When I go through my darkness (SEE LAST POST 😉) I come out the other end stronger and to unimaginable beauty. I turn on the flashlight I packed (child-like joy) to light my own way, being radically self-reliant! Once I trusted myself, then and only then, could I learn to trust others.. and in the universe. For me, it wasn't until I had truly anchored in this self-love, that I was able to live my life freely as a transformed/ing women. In my power! I now can share the merit of this healing with my tribe and the next generation of heroines who may need it!
Make friends with your shadow, as Peter Pan does. A journey from understanding our triggers to confronting+healing those core beliefs that hold us back. The journey, the adventure, is the teacher; good and bad! Here, in the dark, deep down spelunking in our caves, is where the deepest healing occurs. And remember that failures are stepping stones to success too!
The lesson I’m learning the most right now, that is also reflected in this magical movie classic, is to HAVE FAITH AND TRUST. Even the Bible preaches “ASK-BELIEVE-RECIEVE”. UGH, but it’s SO HARD. I used to have trouble asking and I still, at times, have trouble feeling worthy enough to practice receiving. I have a racket of never wanting to be an inconvience to others or an imposition. BUT I can’t get my pixie dust and fly without what? MY #Disney nerds KNOW: FAITH, TRUST!
"Faith, trust and pixie dust!" Peter Pan
Another lesson attached to trusting, that is mirrored in Peter Pan, is #MAGIC. Yep, magic. This theme has been popping up all over recently. From my coaches mouths, to casual conversation, to this blog post. It’s all in alignment. Magic is everywhere. I believe that magic is science yet to be understood. There is energy all around us. From my extensive research and studies, I can confidently liken it to “The Force” from Star Wars. It’s always there, we can measure it literally with multiple scientific instruments. And who’s to say we can’t just plug into it and use it when we need?
“Find the magic around you.” J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan
The Law of Conservation of Mass Energy states that matter can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be changed from one form to another OR transferred from one object to another. Reach out and TAKE YOUR PRIZE, it’s right there for you. This is how I can prove manifestation works, scientifically, let alone having seen it happen with my own eyes countless times. Not as often from personal experience, I am still working on this whole receiving, trust and faith thing, remember?? But once I remove those mental blocks to my abundance, like people I know have, you better believe it shall be RAINING MAGIC DOWN UPON ME!
But remember, we will always need our innocence and child-like joy. Wonder and curiosity will get us there. “Once you’re grown up, you can never come back!!” Well guess what, Lost Boys?! We have the cheat code! NEVER GROW UP! Not in the Peter Pan Syndrome sence... Ew. Can you guess why? If you’ve been on this ride with me, or read what I literally just wrote… It's by KEEPING YOUR INNER-CHILD ALIVE ALWAYS & FOR-EV-VER. Live from that place of child-like JOY within you and the magic will always be there. You can’t just see the magical energy around you (that’s scientifically proven to be there, NBD, let me hammer that in more), you’ve got to be intentional and seek it out! You’ve got to be willing and OPEN to let your inner child (#PeterPan) not only find it, but play in it. Play in your magic.